The Gift

Those of you that know me, know that I have been on something of a quest for the last couple of years. I have researched and investigated many different things, but I have felt especially drawn to something called energy healing. I have looked into several different forms of energy healing, but it wasn't until recently that I felt as if I found something that really clicked with me. Several months ago, I took a class in Healing Touch and really connected with it. Perhaps this was just the right time for me, but at this class was the first time that I was able to sense energy and feel as though I was actually doing something substantial.

Around this same time, my mother was in the final stages of terminal cancer. I wanted desperately to help her, but wasn't sure what I could do. Healing Touch actually has a technique that is supposed to help with transitions (and what transition is greater than that of moving on from this life), but I didn't think my mother would understand or appreciate me standing over her and performing the technique. I talked this over with one of my mentors, and they told me that intention was the primary thing...there was no need to actually perform the technique, just stay grounded and set my intention for the highest good of the person I was working on.

I went to visit my mom on Friday, July 3rd. At this point she was bedridden and, while she could still talk, her voice came out very rough and broken and she rarely finished her thoughts. I went back to her bedroom to visit with her along with my sisters and I tried to do some energy work inconspicuously, but with no luck. After about a half hour or so, I noticed that my left foot was kind of hurting. Nothing drastic, just a pain that I tried to massage away. My mom fell asleep and my sisters and I went out to the kitchen to talk (*** Why is it that all serious conversations take place in the kitchen...is it because knives are near...or maybe because there is always comfort food nearby ***). After a short while, I got up and noticed that I could no longer support my weight on my left foot...I had to limp to get around.

My mom woke up and we all went back to "talk" with her some more. I again tried to do some energy work, this time actually going through the chakra spread (the transition technique) in my mind while I tried to stay grounded and feel the energy. It was no use...this was even worse than before. I could feel nothing and had a really hard time staying grounded. I just kept seeing my mother laying there in pain and couldn't focus. After a short time, she fell asleep again and we all left for the kitchen...with me limping very badly.

After some time visiting with nieces and nephews, sisters and brothers-in-law, I went to say goodbye to my mom, as it was time to leave. My sister and I went back to the bedroom so I could say goodbye. When we walked (and limped) into the bedroom, my mom was writhing around on the bed saying in a rough voice, "Help me, help me...my body...help me." I felt that I couldn't just leave with my mother in such pain, so I stood by her bed and started to pray. My sister was called out of the room for some reason, and, at that moment, my mom lifted her arm in the air. I took her hand in my left hand and placed my right hand on her head. I just let go and tried to allow God's healing energy (what I consider the basis for energy healing) to flow through me. I tried to focus solely on feeling the energy flow between my two hands. Right at the point where I thought I could feel it, I heard a clear, calm voice say, "Thank you!" I looked down and saw that my mom's eyes were wide open, clear, and free of pain. She had stopped writhing on the bed and now just lay there looking at me.

"Thank you," she said again. I stared at her in amazement and awe and she said, "I love you." I bent down, kissed her on the forehead, and told her that I loved her too. "Thank you," she said again, and then looked me in the eyes and said, "I love you , Kip (a family nickname)." Then she smiled...a small smile, but one which had her looking like my mom...like she hadn't looked in years. I smiled at her, told her to stay out of trouble and that I would see her next time. Little did I know that next time would be the following Monday, the day she died.

I don't really know what happened that night at my mom's house...and I don't really care. I know what I think happened, and that is all that matters to me. I know that my mom had been in pain and then she wasn't. I know that my mom and I shared a moment that I will never forget...probably my favorite memory of her. While I believe that I gave her the gift of a moment free of pain, I know that she gave me the gift of that moment...and that is a gift I will carry in my heart for the rest of my life.

Oh...and when I walked away from her bedroom that night, I was no longer limping.